How To Correctly Use The Word “Swag”

In a cultural phenomenon that seemed to pop out of nowhere, the word “swag” has collectively entered the national vocabulary as a word used to describe a variety of situations. When pressed, it’s often found that not one person can seem to agree on the actual definition of the word, causing scholars to further complain about the slow bastardization of the English language. Further complicating the issue are the different versions people go about using it, from “swag” to “swagilicious” to “swagga’ ” and many more. It’s time people got some clarification on when the word is appropriate, and this guide is hopefully a step in reclaiming the identity of a word that has lost its way.

  1. To complement someone. In many cases, there is no higher form of flattery than substituting the word “swag” in for another adjective or noun to really hammer home a complement. It’s perfectly acceptable to use when commenting on someone’s haircut (“Aww, your new do is so swag!”), praising their cooking (“Your chicken tikka masala was delightfully swag even though you aren’t even Indian!”) or just saying ambiguous statements of praise that can be interpreted in hundreds of ways (“I didn’t even know his swag was so large!”).
  2. To end a conversation. Something that really separates this word from many others in the Oxford English Dictionary is that it can act like a conversational period, meaning its usage can effectively end any and all discussions. By using it, you let other speakers know that a) you didn’t listen to what they said b) you don’t care c) a combination of the two d) you are an idiot. Whichever option they choose, they’ll know not to pursue further talks with you, and you’ll finally be free to play videogames. Examples: “So I just got a promotion at work!” “Swag”; “Did you take the dog for a walk?” “Swag”; “My grandfather passed away this morning..” “Swaggie”.
  3. Stuff We All Get? Wrong. One of the most common myths associated with the word is that it is an acronym for the phrase “Stuff We All Get”. It is unclear where this misnomer came from, but it isn’t true. Sure, SWAG can be used as an acronym, but the correct phrase it refers to is: Spice World Appreciation Group, aka the collection of approximately 5,700 people in the country who are fans of the movie Spice World.
Cow Tips!
*Fun Fact: Only human to have correctly used the word is William Shakespeare in his hit song “The Tempest”.
*People who wear shirts that read “MY SWAG IS BIGGER THAN YOURS” are hilarious and are really fun to be friends with!

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