How To Sext

Relationships are hard work, and you only get out of them what you put into them. And because they can be so taxing, the spark that attracted two people in the first place can tend to diminish over time. However, in this day and age, with so many tools at our fingertips, there are several ways in which we can attempt to spice things up with our significant others. “Sexting” is a phenomenon that originated from a few stars of the Disney channel, but then continued to rapidly disseminate throughout our culture. It’s the act of sending and receiving naughty text messages, containing explicit content of the textual or visual kind. It’s easy to do and is encouraged to keep things fresh, but only if done correctly. Follow these steps and watch how you’ll be falling in love with each other all over again.

;

  1. Display what makes you different. When people see the word “Sext”, they immediately assume it’s a picture of one of the X-rated areas from a man or woman’s body. But there’s nothing special in that, nothing that your lover can’t see on the internet or any HBO show. So take pictures of things that make you unique as an individual. Beauty marks, rashes, stabbing wounds, pink eye – the more personal you get with it, the more valuable it will be to the receiver. Areas such as knees, elbows, or fingernails are also sexy in a very “I don’t love you anymore” type of way.
  2. Weave Narratives with your words. A few XXX words strewn together in a sentence can do the trick, sure, but it’s bare minimum. Instead, why not try telling a story through your text exchange, giving your lover a steady stream of erotica throughout the day. A hot and steamy piece of Fan-Fiction is a great trick, and often stories between Mags and Finnick (Mannick) from The Hunger Games are chosen for such activities.
  3. Don’t get caught! It is said that there is a certain thrill in being caught red-handed “doing the deed” (or watching ‘Mr. Deeds’), but there is no excitement in being caught doing it over technology. It makes you seem weird, perverted, and addicted to knees. Use internet abbreviations/slang to create a new language for you and your significant other, just to throw people off the scent. LYL = Love Your Lobes (for pictures of earlobes), SMH = Send More Hangnails, ROFL = Rubbing On Fruity Lotion, NBD = No Bears, Dummy (for when your guy randomly starts sending you pictures of bears).
  4. Single people can have fun too. Don’t think that because we’re talking about couples, we want to snatch happiness away from you singles out there. Not at all! You can get in on the fun too, as there is no better way to test the dating waters than a few naughty texts to someone you have your eye one. Go ahead, send that girl you met at your sister’s wedding a shot of your nether regions, move things along. There are only three ways she can really respond anyways: If she texts you back, it’s a YES. No response, it’s a NO. If the police show up at your door, it’s a MAYBE!
Cow Tips!
*For maximum sexual potential, ensure your picture is Instragrammed.
*Also try ‘Twexting’, which is tweeting sexy images of yourself, but in 140 characters or less.
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

  • This site is brought to you by:

    Varsity Doubles.
%d bloggers like this: