How To Become A Popular Indie Band

It is said that over 70% of high school students these days form bands with their friends, but that eventually, 91% of those groups will get involved in a tense hairstyle dispute, and dissolve. Of the select bunch that stick it out, even fewer make it to the big stage, as the music industry is notorious for being one of the most ruthless professions to get involved in. However, what many don’t realize is that the actual music is only one piece of the puzzle. There are other factors that are overlooked by fledgling artists which are equally as important, and nailing those will make you the opening act for an Oasis cover-band in no time.

  1. Pick the right name. The indie music industry is incredibly cerebral, so you want to select a name which makes the listener sit and ponder for a little while. Anything that is too straightforward will be dismissed as “pop”, a kiss of death for any upcoming indie artist. Think of words or phrases that inspire you, but also exude complexity and emotion. Some good examples are: Some Good Examples Are…, Chicken Or The Egg, or The Microsoft Word Lucida Sans Fonts.
  2. Perfect your image. Cultivating the right look for you and your band members is vital to ensure success in terms of marketing. Without hearing your music, people will form opinions of your band based on how you come across in the media, so you want to make a good, lasting impression. It’s trendy to have at least one minority in your group, ideally one who plays the guitar or drums (having them as the lead singer is too risky until racism dies out in the year 2024). Wear clothing that is casual and comfortable, including v-necks, hoodies, vans, and shirts with vintage bands or ironic slogans. The most important aspect is facial hair. If at least one member does not have a handle bar moustache, you might as well be One Direction.
  3. Focus on song content. The thematic elements of a song are often vastly more important than the melody or musical arrangements, so be sure to put some serious thought behind your tunes. Every good indie LP is broken down in the following fashion: 3 songs about heartbreak, 3 songs about falling in love, 2 songs with the word “Winter” in the title, 1 nine-minute track which is mostly instrumental, and 1 song that is indirectly about eating mushrooms. Stray from this template at your own peril.
Cow Tips!
*To become a popular INDIAN band, follow the same steps but with less cow-related material.
*Indie Inspirations: Bon Iver, The Shins, Beach House, The Beets.

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