How To Decide When To Take A Day Off From Work

We’ve all been there. You wake up in the morning, groggy, tired, not well rested in the slightest. And the first thought that crosses your mind is “that was a weird sex dream with Rosie O’Donnell…”. But then the second thought is always, “How the eff can I get out of work today?” The art of a strategically taken sick day is difficult to teach, but once mastered, can lead to a life of contentment and relaxation. Take too many? Kiss your job goodbye. Take too few? Enjoy being the office workhorse. The key to your decision is to ask yourself a series of questions which will help make the final verdict a bit easier to make, and as for what those questions are, keep reading this article that states in it its title that it will tell you how to do that very thing!


  1. What do I need to accomplish today? A day off is only relaxing if there are no pending deadlines to meet at your job. A responsible adult will always make a mental note of what tasks need to be completed, just to gauge how busy the day would be. Work-related stuff can usually be put off 24 hours, but certain things such as asking the receptionist out, or breaking into your boss’ office to delete the drunken hate mail you sent him the night before, need to be taken care of ASAP. Once you have figured out your situation, you are one step closer to making an informed decision.
  2. When was my last day off? As mentioned above, you do not want to be hit with the reputation of the Office Outpatient (aka person who is sick a lot). This will lead to people annoyingly sending you flowers, or the company deciding that your health is too fragile for a full-time position. So it’s vital to space your sick/personal days out. Anything more than once every two weeks is a red flag, so choose wisely. And if you are a real trooper who makes it through a whole month with perfect attendance, it is standard to treat yourself to a week off at the beginning of the following month.
  3. What will my co-workers/bosses think? About 87% of your success in the corporate world is based not on your actual work, but actually on how colleagues perceive you as a person (the remaining 12% is based on your mental dexterity). Others in your office will feel aggrieved if you are a perpetual no-show to meetings, lunches, etc., so it’s wise to keep them on your mind when making this decision. Are you on good enough terms with them so that they’ll understand your plight (of laziness), or is there some residual bad blood from when you took three days off to “really feel the new Radiohead record”? Don’t get on their bad side, you will need them for work references/designated drivers at the company Holiday party.
  4. Do I TRULY need this day off? Yes.
Cow Tips!
*Half days are suitable substitutes as long as you can continue watching Judge Judy from the comfort of your cubicle.
*”If you go TWO months without even one day off, most companies will promote you to CEO.” — Autobiography of Donald Trump.
2 Responses to “How To Decide When To Take A Day Off From Work”
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