How To Use Youtube Videos To Impress Your Coworkers

Office politics can mean the difference between owning a boat house and cleaning a house boat (See Keanu Reeves in The Replacements). You might be able to get a leg up on the corporate ladder via showing up early, working hard, and being a competent employee, BUT you will unfortunately have to show up early, work hard, and be a competent employee. An easier route to the top runs through Youtube city and Youtube city has an unemployment rate of 0 (It also has really bad schools and no public transportation.)

  1. Choose the right genre. Success on the job begins long before you walk in the door; the same is true when it comes to ‘tubin’ it. Lay the groundwork. Do the research. Is your office mostly young, party-hard, beer drinkin, lube-using type? Or are they the older, straight-laced, button up, CBS loving, lube-using type? Once you have an idea of who you are dealing with, choose from one of Youtube’s two genres: Autotune/Nutshots and Bieber Videos.
  2. Choose the right length. When you show a coworker a Youtube video, your entire identity is on the line. Everything you stand for must be embodied in that full screen window. Can you really accomplish that in 49 seconds? Maybe if you are Daniel Tosh (just pick something racist.) If you are a normal human you will need a video that clocks in at a minimum of 8:36.
  3. Deliver In-Person. Even though you will have to watch the video over the internet, don’t send it in an e-mail. This video is like a basket of muffins. You can’t eat it in an e-mail. Walk over to your targets cubicle, cop a squat in their chair and let them know you’ve got a video they are “Going to love. Trust me.”
  4. Telegraph the laughs. You work with idiots. We all do. Idiots struggle to understand Youtube videos unless someone is holding their hand while watching. Literally hold their hand and let out a small giggle just before each moment in the video that you think is worth a laugh.
Cow Tips!
*If your office buddy wasn’t impressed by the video, they probably just need to watch it again.
*If they still don’t like it, they probably just need to watch the re-mixed version of it.
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