How To Select The Right Gift For Your Loved Ones

Along with trust, compassion, loyalty, and hiding the fact that you’re married, giving someone a thoughtful gift is one of the best ways to show that you care about them. It doesn’t have to be the most expensive item, or the most exclusive object, but like, real talk, that shit helps. Of course, there are plenty of other options available, it’s just up to you to figure out what’s best. Gift-giving is a stressful enterprise, so here’s a handy checklist to help you through this process:

aw babe, more bronzer?! you shouldn't have.

  1. Figure out what they are interested in. Pretty self-explanatory. If they like working out, get them some new gear. If they enjoy pampering themselves, a spa trip would be wonderful. If they prefer the finer things in life, nothing is classier than a year-long subscription to The Source magazine.
  2. Figure out what they are disinterested in. This tactic flies under the radar a little bit, even though it is quite powerful when used effectively. By focusing on what your recipient despises and then offering them something of that nature, you are challenging them and helping them grow in a way they otherwise wouldn’t. So what if your aunt suffers from crippling arachnophobia. How is she supposed to shed her paranoia if you DON’T buy her two tarantulas (sans cages)? Turn this special occasion into a learning experience, because an education is the greatest gift of all.
  3. Go simple. Every year, it becomes more difficult to find something unique and new to procure for your special someone, and you’ll find that the stress can lead to hemorrhoids near your anal cavity. Sure, some Dre Beats headphones will be great, but for how long, like two months until they burst your ear drums? No, go practical, and give them happiness that’ll last for much longer. Some great options are: a nice jumbopack of toilet paper, new pillow covers, or a year-long subscription to The Source magazine.
  4. Go big. Hm, yeah, while going simple (step #3) is a foolproof tactic, you’ll still have to think of gift ideas year after year. That problem can be eradicated with one LARGE present that will exempt you from ever having to be part of the gross consumerism culture ever again. To stun your recipient, give them something that they wouldn’t have dreamt of in their wildest dreams. Nothing says “so, I assume we’re good for life now after this?” more than bequeathing all your worldly possessions to this special someone in your will, and then faking your own death and going into hiding.
Cow Tips!
*Always make sure to receive your gift before giving one back in return. It may just so happen that your friend got YOU a year-long subscription to The Source magazine, in which case, a simple change of the address details, and you can gift it right back!
*Statistically, the most bought gift in the United States of America is Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist, with the statement “Changed my life – will change yours too!” written on the inside sleeve.
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