How To Make 2013 The Best Year Of Your Life

WOW! Another year has quickly passed in front of our eyes, with preparations to welcome 2013 in full effect all around the globe. Looking back on the past 12 months, some of the key moments would certainly include: the Presidential election, conflicts in the Middle East, the Olympics, Adam Sandler’s Jack & Jill, the rise of Instagram, and the tragic passing of Whitney Houston. Notice a common thread among all of those things? NONE OF THEM INVOLVE YOU. Yes, just admit it, your 2012 was mediocre at best, replete with missed opportunities and risks not taken. But fear not! The concept of ‘The Calendar Year” was invented by Egyptians long ago to allow them to recommit to their diets every so often, and now you can do the same. Follow these tips, and make 2013 the best year of your existence, whether you are 4 years old or 74 years old!

'2013' is French for 'Colorful'

  1. Start off strong. What’s the one piece of advice you remember your sophomore year English teacher giving you on your writing (except for “you can’t keep using the word ‘whore-ish’ to describe Hester Prynne”)? That’s right: it’s imperative you have a strong opening to all your essays. In some ways, the process of writing an essay is very similar to traversing through a year. Starting off, you are wide-eyed, eager, ambitious, and have a million ideas on how to make this great. But then you begin to lose steam half-way through, and by the end of both, you are sitting in your bed robotically refreshing your ex-girlfriend’s twitter. Don’t lose that initial optimism!! Do something crazy by the end of January, like buying a pair of skinny jeans, that’ll set the tone for the rest of the year.
  2. Attain short-term benchmarks. As we approach New Years Eve, you will undoubtedly be surrounded by individuals who have made grand ‘resolutions’ to ensure their 2013 is a success. Don’t buy into it. Long-term goals are handy when applying for a job at Staples, but to achieve inner happiness, set numerous short-term yardsticks that are actually attainable. Here are some examples: only two ads on Craiglist’s ‘Casual Encounters’ section per week, only one popped pimple an hour, no listening to Anne Hathaway’s rendition of “I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Miserables more than nine times a day.
  3. Mix it up a bit. They say variety is the spice of life, so if you want your life to be like a NYC cart lamb&rice mixture with a lot of red sauce, time to add some new elements to your plain jane existence. This is the time to take a class in something you’ve always had an interest in (like the films of Zach Braff), or develop a new hobby to perfect on the side (like loving your kids), or WHATEVER makes you happy. And it doesn’t even need to be anything huge, small changes count as well! Any tiny alteration to your lifestyle will keep things fresh, and your year rollicking along successfully.
  4. End with a bang. No but, quite literally, have a lot of sex towards the latter portion of the year.
Cow Tips!
* Don’t let society manipulate you. It is perfectly acceptable to continue living the way you have been living and every new year does not need to turn into some song and dance about changing yourself and becoming more like your co-worker Jason who, ok sure, may seem to have it all put together on the outside, but is he really happy?!
* Take solace in the fact that even if your year is awful, plenty of high school seniors will declare 2013 the ‘Best Year Ever’ after their post-prom party at the Shore.
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