How To Tell Your Kids Santa Claus Isn’t Real

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The children were nestled all snug in their bed, and the parents were sick of pretending to be … Continue reading

How To Select The Right Gift For Your Loved Ones

Along with trust, compassion, loyalty, and hiding the fact that you’re married, giving someone a thoughtful gift is one of the best ways to show that you care about them. It doesn’t have to be the most expensive item, or the most exclusive object, but like, real talk, that shit helps. Of course, there are … Continue reading

How To Properly Network

19% Skill. 13% Understanding. 20% dimples. 8% Pluck. 12% Luck. 4% extra P’s. 24% Kiefer Sutherland. This adds up to a failed recipe for success.  The proper recipe is 100% networking, 0% trans fats. Whether you are trying to improve your place in deep sea architecture, a real profession, or simply raise your status within … Continue reading

How To Survive Your Family During The Holidays

Ahhhh, it’s that time of year again. You know, when the wind is crisper, cheeks are rosier, and grandmothers are drunker. With Diwali, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and Christmas all falling within a hectic six week stretch, every excuse you’ve used year-round to avoid seeing the family will no longer be effective. Your dog ate your … Continue reading

How To Avoid Thanksgiving Cleanup Duty

Thanksgiving is a cornucopia of contradictions. When Abraham Lincoln declared it a national holiday, he intended it to be a day of giving thanks. But, since Lincoln was Illuminati, he was also sowing the seeds of future sociological strife. Why else does the government require us to spend the day with the most annoying people … Continue reading

How To Turn Water Into Wine

If you are interested in becoming a Saint, you are going to have to either be able to run a 40 yard dash in full pads in under 4.2 seconds, or perform a miracle, and let’s be honest, if you are reading this blog both of those things would be a miracle. Bazinga! (And lets … Continue reading

How To Get Rid Of That Ticklish Itch In Your Throat

It’s everyone’s favorite time of year – the intersection of allergy season and flu season – and that means raw, sneezy, itchy noses and throats everywhere. We all know and dread that feeling, when you get a tiny little tickle-itch at the way back of your throat and you want to just rip out your … Continue reading

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